Dei Layborer

Brand new look. Same great taste.

After a sabbatical of sorts, I’m making my way into writing more regularly again. So far I’ve done a reasonably good job of not beating myself up for the gap, which is good since it’s not like that was going to make it less likely or shorten it once it arrived.

The theme of this year has turned out to be acceptance. My focus (thanks in no small part to my therapist) has been shifting steadily to simply figuring out how to find an equilibrium with how I am rather than changing what that means. So far it’s been difficult, but in a way that makes me think I’m on the right path.

My forays into coding are still a regular thing, and I’m currently working on a front-end design for a web app someone’s doing. Specifics on here will remain scarce until I know how the other person feels about that, or if nothing else until it’s actually released. I’m getting a better handle on how my creative process works, at least, and it’s been fun to work in a style that I don’t typically use for my own stuff. I’m going with a western fantasy motif, but trying to keep it more subtle than that usually suggests. Bells and whistles can be fun in the abstract, but more often than not get in the way of usability. All that animation is fun the first couple times, but starts to get old real fast.

The theological front has been relatively unchanged since I last posted. I haven’t had any major revelations on that front, whether in terms of the imagery I discussed last time or more generally. My experience with doctrine and my own personal thoughts and feelings is that they tend to be much more outward-focused, and seem to be more concerned with one’s relationship to the world (and beyond it). Figuring yourself out, meanwhile, is less emphasized, at least in, for example, Scripture. Having to bail out of the seminary classes I was taking and really struggling to get into another ancient language have not helped, but for the time being I’m taking it on faith that I need to be headed elsewhere.

I’ve decided I’m going to try joining a new tilde. I was involved with a member site for awhile a few years ago, but felt increasingly alienated so kinda dropped out of it. I’ve found another one, this one in Spanish, and I’m hoping that it’s a better fit. It’ll also give me more regular practice with my Spanish, which I could always use. I’m just hoping that I don’t end up pulled in too many directions, which is another reason I’m giving myself permission to be less consistent on any one thing than I have been before.

I’m still reading regularly, and have come across some really good stories elsewhere (such as in games), and I hope to talk more about those things as I go. I haven’t given up the idea of writing fiction of some description either, even if that remains much more theoretical for the time being.

For now, which can mean anything from “today” or “this week” or “until the Vyvanse wears off,” I’m doing alright. Moods have been all over the place, though, but hopefully that’ll get better as I progress in some inner reorganization. Time will tell.